Reet, Petite and Gone
(1947) is amazing.
It is a life changing experience. It is a film worth watching. Go, watch it now.
While being merely a framing sequence for a string of Louis Jordan hits, it has so far managed to both include an impressive laundry-list of plots used in every sitcom from about 1982-1995, and also to move at a snail's pace.
After each song, they introduce another plot twist which is also framed with long stretches of silence as the actors stare blankly past the camera and do an amazing impression of a person waiting for a person off-screen to point at them and say "now." It has a fractal effect, with songs and plot twists in a tessellation of filler.
So far, there is a fake will, a con man, a second generation who look exactly like the previous, a contest, a fake twin, a fat sidekick, a skinny sidekick, a dead father, unrequited love, two (two!) big broadway shows, both in jeopardy, a butler (who gives every indication of evincing guilt before the end), a long-lost-love, an impressively crooked lawyer, a letter with a time-limit that spells a last-minute reprieve, Special Guest Stars and characters you have never seen before but are expected to identify with absolutely no introduction, and whose identities are key to the plot. It has also provided the blandest cheesecake shot I have ever seen, and now proceeds to be a retelling of Cinderella with measurements standing in for the slipper and one of the two jeopardized broadway shows standing in for the ball.
All, half an hour in.
Half an hour into an agonizingly slow movie, in fact.
mood: Blown Away
music: The Green Grass Grows All Around